Shield the Flame
by Emolaaay
Summary: Bella and Edward are married with a little girl but lately Edward has been distant and Bella feels unimportant. Their struggles become more difficult when another factor is added in. Will they be able to overcome them? ExB, all cannon pairings
1. Chapter 1

**AN**: I don't own Twilight or its characters. Don't rub it in, Steph. Please review so I don't cry a million billion tears. ;)

Chapter One

My fingers continued to drum the clean wood. I had been waiting, and waiting for him. Was it right that he was almost two hours late? No. Not today, not now. I had been waiting for tonight, he said he would be here. He promised, though I had gotten use to him breaking those. I glanced at my watch again. Ten thirty-six. I take that back, two hours and thirty-six minutes late.

The candles were burning quickly, the wax was getting all over the table but I didn't move an inch. I couldn't care about anything but his broken promise. He infuriated me. I watched the melted wax drip, over and over. The bang of the front door didn't come for another thirty minutes. Edward walked into the room and grinned.

"Hi honey, I'm home!" He chuckled. Not funny.

He took a quick look at the, now, cold dinners and burned out candles. Then to me with my pulled up hair and dark blue gown. I'm sure my cheeks were stained with black from the tears that had unwillingly dispersed from my eyes.

His face quickly changed to one of regret and remembrance. "Oh my God, Bella! I am so—"

I cut him off by walking swiftly upstairs, ignoring any comment that came from his mouth. I slammed the bedroom door in his face and grabbed his pillow and a small blanket from the closet then threw them at him and locked the door.

I could hear him pacing outside the door, begging for me to let him in. "Bella, please, let me in. I forgot, I'm sorry. Please, love,"

I jumped into bed, getting on Edward's side and surrounded myself in his scent. I was mad at him, yes. But I couldn't sleep without him. After being with him so long, it was routine. He would always wrap his arms around me and caress my bare skin as I slept, humming sweet lullabies. I missed him already. But tonight, I wouldn't give in.

He pounded on the door until about midnight then he left me alone, which was what I didn't want. Our strained relationship was being torn apart. He was preoccupied with Med School and his internship. I always made time for him. He was the glue that held my world together. My Mr. Darcy. Yet sometimes, I truly didn't feel like his Elizabeth. He was always too busy for me, for us. I sighed and rolled over, letting my tears stain my whole pillow. I didn't even feel myself fall asleep that night. I just watched the clock as the minutes turned to hours.

I awoke unsatisfied and feeling slightly hollow. I turned over, expecting to see Edward's smiling face welcoming me into the morning but alas I stared at an empty bed. It made me want to cry just looking at it. The memory of last night replayed in my head and all over again I was angry and upset.

It took all my will to get out of bed. I turned on the shower and let the hot water wash my problems away, for now. I knew this feeling of contentment wouldn't last. This time, I wouldn't stand back and let Edward tell me how I was feeling; I would stick up for myself and not be treated like a child.

I continued to dress myself. It was Thursday so I needed to be into work by ten. I looked at the clock. I had two hours until I had to be there. Bracing myself, I headed to Edward.

He was lying on the couch, laughing. It made me angry that he could so easily forget about my feelings. I growled at him and in an instant he was up on his feet with the television off. He started to walk towards me, arms open. I held up my hand, unwilling to be pacified. He would listen to me.

"Edward, I am angry beyond belief at you. I asked you a million times to have last night off. One night, Edward. I cooked and cleaned and made myself beautiful for you. I had news that I wanted to tell you. I even got a babysitter for Renesmee, just so that I could have you all to myself. And this isn't the first time, Edward, I understand that being a doctor is important to you but you married me, shouldn't I be higher up than your occupation?" I tried to stay calm, but within my small speech my voice continued to shake.

He looked at me with his head cocked. I wanted to smack him, really hard and just leave. "Bella, I'm sorry, I completely forgot. I was having dinner with Tanya. We were discussing and study for our exams. I tried to call—"

"Tanya?" I yelled, "She is the reason you forgot about me? A nurse at the hospital is who you pick over your wife? It's great to know where I stand in your eyes." I felt hot tears stinging my eyes.

He looked furious. "How could you even say that? I love you. For some unknown reason, I fell for you. There will never, could never be anyone else. God, Bella, you don't even fucking listen to me."

"Well, maybe if my husband came home so I could tell him something I've been waiting to tell him for two weeks, I would listen to him," I cried.

"You can talk to me anytime, Bella. You fucking know that! I'm right here," he continued to yell, I felt myself wince at the harshness in his tone.

The tears were visible now. I felt the warm moisture drip down my face. "You asked for it," I whispered, "I'm pregnant again, Edward and I'm sorry I wanted to be romantic when I told about it."

I rushed out the door, unwilling to listen to his response. The entire drive to work, I felt nauseated. I wanted to run back to Edward and have him rejoice with me but I knew I couldn't. Neither of us could be around the other right now. We needed space. That made me feel even worse.

"Bella?" I heard a voice called to me from the sidewalk.

I looked up to see Angela Weber. I smiled at her. "Hello, Angela. Beautiful morning, isn't it?" I hadn't even glanced outside.

"It's raining. So it's really just like any day here in Washington." She smiled, though I saw a hint of worry lined in her features.

"Oh, right. Well, we should get inside."We walked together inside. I felt her continually glance at me.

We reached our floor and went our separate ways. My desk was pretty small and tightly crammed with small gifts I had received over the years from my daughter and Edward. Thinking of Renesmee always made the aches I felt simmer. She was so beautiful, even as a child. Now, at six, Renesmee loved to go to school and be outside. She was skilled at the piano, an attribute she had gained from her father. She and Edward looked so much alike; they had the same bronze hair and bold smiles. All she had gained from me was intelligence and large brown eyes. I looked at the picture that hung over my computer. It was the first time Renesmee and gone in the ocean. She sat in the water, gripping on to both Edward and I for dear life. I remembered how hard her grip really was and rubbed the spot where she held my arm in remembrance.

We had gone to the beach with Edward's entire family. His mother, Esme and father, Carlisle, had the biggest hearts of anyone I had ever met. Alice, Edward's little sister, had come too. She was short, just under five feet but had a extremely large amount of energy. Her husband, Jasper is the opposite of that. He is quiet and usually reserved. He is very tall and protective of the little pixie.

Edward's best friend Emmett also came along with us. His girlfriend, Rosalie, of course joined him. She was more beautiful than any model but had the spirit of a biker. Both her and Emmett love cars. Fixing them, driving them, buying them. We were all blissful and happy during those days.

I frowned at the picture. I missed my daughter tremendously, though it had only been about fifteen hours since I had last seen her. She was my pride and joy, everything about her made me happy. She had a piece of me wherever she went.

"Geez, Bells. It's only nine fifteen, what the hell are you doing in so early?" Mike Newton called to me from his office.

"Long story. I just hope this means I get to go home early too." I laughed.

"I wouldn't count on it."

*

He was right. I didn't leave until seven thirty. It added the awful ending that my day needed to be complete.

I got back to the house and saw Edward's Volvo in the driveway. I mentally prepared myself for a verbal lashing. The front door opened and I saw my little girl smiling with her missing teeth and it warmed my soul.

"Momma's home!" she called.

She ran out to greet me. She attacked my legs and pulled me inside. Edward was already asleep on the couch, or at least pretending to be for my sake. Renesmee frowned at this sight and gripped my hand, trying to pull me down to her level. I bent down and let her whisper in my ear.

"Daddy isn't asleep, mommy."

I nodded and swallowed the lump in my throat. "Let's get you to bed baby."

She grinned at me and held my hand as we walked to her room. She quickly tucked herself into her polka dot sheets. She squirmed and wiggled to get comfortable. I looked at her droopy eyes and smirked. My little angel and I had another thing in common, our sleep patterns.

"Momma?"

"Yes baby?" I smiled as I brushed her hair with my fingers.

"I love you."

"I love you too, more than my own life. Remember that forever." I kissed her forehead and walked back downstairs.

"Edward, get up." I snapped.

He opened his eyes. His face was emotionless, I had never seen my husband ugly, just the thought was impossible but right now, this façade was as close as he could get.

"I'm not going to clean up the mess you made. I expect that you can handle that, am I wrong?" I continued.

He shook his head and without another glance at me, he got up. I didn't wait for him downstairs. I instead hoped that he understood that tonight I wanted him in our room. I wanted just to feel close, even if we were fighting.

I pulled out one of Edward's t-shirts and let myself engulf his scent as I lay in bed. My eyes were getting heavy. Twenty minutes passed before I started to get cranky. _Where in the hell was he? _I swiftly walked downstairs and saw that he had fallen asleep on the couch, though I had left the bedroom door open and a light on. I wanted to shake him, to wake him up so he would come and let me bury myself in his chest but my pride overruled my wants. I stomped back up the stairs, more hot tears in my eyes.

I cried for a long time, the tears just seemed to keep coming. I wanted Edward to come to me, to let me forgive him, to stop being an ass but it never happened. Not even when I heard the creak in my door way.

"Edward?" I gasped.

"Momma," the small form whispered.

"Renesmee? What is it? What's wrong?" I was quick to wipe away any evidence of tears. I may cry, but I would never show my daughter my weakness.

"I had a bad dream, can I sleep in here with you and daddy?" she sniffled.

"Of course, you can sleep in here with me." With me. Not daddy and me. I almost sniffled myself.

I fell asleep with my daughter curled up against me. It almost felt like the perfect picture. Almost. One thing was missing.

**AN**: Good? Not Good? Should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

**AN**: No matter how much I love Edward, I will never own him. Or any other Twilight character, not even Jasper! They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter Two

I had barely slept that night, not only because of Renesmee's restless moving but because I couldn't help but wonder if this baby was the right thing for Edward's and my relationship. He hadn't even mentioned it to me. It frustrated me that he hadn't even tried to find me after our fight, even with his new knowledge of our future child.

"Momma?" Renesmee's lethargic voice called to me.

I rolled over and looked at her through one eye, furrowing my eyebrows. She giggled and burrowed closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her and smothered her with kisses as she giggled and screamed. I laughed with her, forgetting about my fight with Edward as my daughter filled that emptiness.

"Momma!" She screeched, as I continued to tickle her.

"Bella? Nessie?" Edward's voice was followed by his body as he ran into our room.

He fisted his eyes as he looked over both of our smiling figures. I could tell he took notice that I was wearing his shirt. "We were just goofing around, Edward, but since you are here, maybe we should tell Renesmee our news?" His eyes widened a bit at my words then he nodded and sat beside me on the bed.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and I basked in the closeness between us. I lay my head on his shoulder and looked to Renesmee, who lay smiling at us. "What?" she cheered.

"Nessie, mommy's going to have another baby!" Edward grinned. I ignored his use of the annoying and ugly nickname.

He was happy, or at least pretending to be. Renesmee started cheering and jumping on the bed. "I'm gonna be a big sissy!" She wrapped her arms around both Edward and I.

"Are you happy?" I asked. I hoped Edward would catch that I was asking him more than her.

"Yes!" she applauded, "I want to tell my friends. I hope it's a boy…" I drowned out her rambling cheers as I looked up to Edward's smiling face.

He nodded to me and winked. "I'm so very happy," he whispered.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. My anger disappeared as I felt his heart beating rapidly with mine. "I love you," he whispered in my ear.

I felt more tears burn my eyes, as I nodded against his shoulder. "I love you too."

"Mommy, why are you crying? Did daddy hurt you?" I could only laugh at the anger in my daughter's eyes as she looked to Edward.

"No," I looked up to Edward, "He's trying to make it better."

Edward released me and picked up Renesmee, he lifted her in the air and spun her around as if she were a helicopter. She giggled loudly. When he put her down she almost fell over. I laughed at her dizziness. I held my arms open for her. She frowned as she slowly got closer to me. "Daddy made my head hurt, mommy," she whined.

I laughed and looked to Edward who grinned and came over to us. "Ness, it's time for you to get ready for school," he told her.

She nodded and gave me a quick hug before retreating back to her room. Edward was silent after she left. He shifted awkwardly. His eyes were cast to the floor. I knew I would be the one to break this phase. "I missed you," I whispered.

He looked up. "I am so sorry, Bella," he murmured.

I nodded. "I know, I really do. I just wish you were with me more. I always feel like you are somewhere else. Well, not physically. That's not what I mean. I just… I wish that you made more time for your family. And now, with another baby on the way, I'm going to need you even more."

"Bella, I understand. I want to be here with you. You should know that, I always would rather be here but if I have to be out there supporting you, then that's what I'm going to do. You always come first. I love you. I married you so that I would have you forever and that is what I intend to do." He took two strides to my side and closed the unwanted distance between us. His lips met mine and I felt everything melt away. All that was left was Edward, Edward and me. I pulled him against me and lifted his shirt. He grinned against my lips and obliged, lifting his arms in the air and momentarily pulling away so I could get it over his head. I threw it and let my hands run over his muscular chest. He was cold, which wasn't surprising, he was always cold. The cold of his body was comforting to me. I didn't realize how much I had missed it. I basked in his closeness, letting myself hold him and kiss him and caress him. This was all I would ever need.

"Daddy?" Renesmee's call took us from our passion.

Edward laughed and pressed our foreheads together. I smiled at him. "Later," he whispered.

"What is it Ness?" he called.

"Will you tie my shoes?" she sounded slightly distraught. She was still upset that she wasn't able to tie her shoes without instruction.

"I'll be right there, sweetheart," he said as he started to get off the bed. I frowned, wishing that we could continue.

I sat up and kissed his shoulder blade before he slid his shirt back on. "What time do you have to be at the hospital today?" I asked, hoping it was later.

"Around eleven. That means our little rendezvous will have to wait until tonight," he replied, chuckling.

I frowned. On my day off I had nothing to do. Maybe I could call Alice or Esme. "Do you think your mom is busy today?"

He looked bemused by my question but shook his head. "Doubt it, unless dad's off. And I don't even want to think about what they do on those days."

"I think I'm going to call her and Alice. I haven't seen them in over a week, I should probably tell them about the baby," I explained.

"You have fun telling her but don't call complaining when Alice tries to take you maternity shopping again," he feigned a scolding.

I laughed. "Go tie my daughter's shoes!" I barked, teasingly.

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, so now she's your daughter?"

"After twelve hours of labor and almost nine months of carrying her in my uterus, I think I have gained the right of calling her my daughter. I mean you didn't offer to push her out of your vagina!"

He chuckled, shaking his head as he went to aid our daughter. I picked my phone up off the counter and dialed Alice's number. She answered quickly.

"Good morning, my dear sister. How are you today?" she answered, her voice as perky as usual.

"I'm good. Are you busy?"

"Not if you are offering to spend the day with me. After all, it has been a whole two days since I last went shopping." I rolled my eyes, she spent more money than I could even imagine.

"I wanted to call Esme to join us. Okay?"

"Sure, sure. You have news, don't you? Oh God, did Edward get fired? No, no. Nessie got the lead in a school play? No, no. Shit, I don't know what it is, but you have news," she squealed, her excitement getting the better of her.

"God, Alice, could you calm down for like two seconds?" Down the hall, I swore I heard Edward laughing.

"Pregnancy!" she exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes, she never ceased to astonish me with her clairvoyant predictions. "Ruin the surprise, Alice, as usual."

She screeched into the phone. "Oh, this is great, Bella! I'm going to be an aunt!"

I laughed. "So what is Renesmee? A dog?"

"Oh, that's right. Well, I'll be an aunt to another young child. So, are you gonna call mom, or should I?" She had that tone in her voice that told me to let her call Esme and spill the secret.

"Call her, but don't come crying to me when she kicks your butt for telling her instead of letting me and Edward."

I could literally hear her scowl through the phone. "Look that time with Rose and Emmett doesn't count. She's my mom, since when is it a crime for me to share with her? You'd think she'd be pleased that I have the decency to call her as often as I do."

I covered my mouth with my hand so she couldn't hear my laughter. "Alice, really, you know how much Esme loves you. It's the rest of us that aren't so fond of you." I teased.

"Oh that was so funny Bella, I think I pissed my pants. I'm going to call mom. Get dressed and meet us at that Italian restaurant in Port Angeles in an hour. Lord knows you'll only take two seconds to get dressed."

I laughed again. "Love you too Al," I said, before I hung up.

Edward appeared at the door way, Renesmee followed suit, dressed in her new corduroys and a plain green tee shirt. "I guess the talk with Alice went well," Edward loved that I was able to have such a good relationship with his little sister.

"We are getting together around ten. I think your mom is coming too. I'll give her your love. Now, I want my little one to come and give me a big ol' hug before she heads off to kindergarten." I grinned.

Renesmee ran to me and jumped into my awaiting arms. "Tell Aunt Alice and Gramgram I love them and I can almost tie my shoes."

"I always do, now get your butt of to school, kid." I kissed her cheek and watched as she ran out of the room.

Edward walked to me, kissed my forehead and rest his hand on my stomach. "Take care of my little one today. I'll go drive her to school. Will I be able to give you a proper good morning kiss when I return, love?" he murmured.

"Probably not, I think I'm gonna get over there early and actually eat before Alice gets there and tells me that it'll be bad for the baby."

"Good plan. Don't let her torment mom too much," he chuckled.

And just like that I felt my life begin to go back to normal, and I liked it that way.

**AN**: I'm sitting here, suffering from insomnia, trying to figure out how it's possible that I've eaten almost a whole box of mini-wheats. Some one really needs to take them away from me. This chapter was a bit shorter than the last one, but I hope it was enjoyable for you. I will let you know now, I love me some Bella and Edward. I hate Jacob and Bella or Bella with anyway besides Edward. Edward is my main man, and so that's how my stories will be, for those who asked.

Special thanks to:

Crazywolf13

kendall515 (x2)

Edward's-a-beefcake (Your name crack's me up)

Review, review, review. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**AN**: Insomnia provides me with time. Time to write more stories, even if they aren't good. Compliment me anyway, because the best way to my heart is completely fake compliments that don't even make sense, like "Your chicken patties taste like chicken" or "I think the way you spell Edward's name is hot." So here it is another chapter for you guys, I hope you like it. I don't know when I'll be updating next, being that it's Easter weekend. Special thanks to:

kendall515

LimitedBannerMaker

vampgirl18

yourbrowneyedgirl

SamBee44

I love reviews! You guys made my day. :)

Chapter Three

"Bella! Is that a chocolate chip muffin? Are you insane? Do you want your baby to be fat?" Alice roared as I shoved as much of the muffin in my mouth as possible.

"It tastes so good though," I mumbled through a full mouth.

Esme laughed at our bickering before engulfing me in a maternal hug. "Bella dear, you look beautiful as always."

I smiled at her, Esme was always the mother I'd never had. Not saying that Renee was a bad mother but she was very erratic and chaotic. Esme was the opposite. She had a presence that held high respect and she spent all of her time devoted to her children. "As do you Esme, not a day over twenty- three," I replied smiling.

Esme smiled warmly back and took her seat across from me. "So, I heard your news," she said with a slight nod towards Alice, who sat staring around, trying to find a waiter.

"And she's very pleased, blah, blah, blah," Alice mumbled.

I laughed, "I told you!"

She took a moment to glare at me, pointedly. "I hate you."

"Mary Alice!" Esme tried to sound appalled through her smile.

Alice let out a huff and continued her search, when she finally spotted a waiter she waved her hands in an aimless attempt to get their attention. "Why did we choose this restaurant?" she asked, annoyed.

"You picked it." I reminded her.

"Whatever," she answered, getting up and walking over to the waiter.

I let my gaze go back to Esme. Her caramel hair was pulled into a neat bun and she was dressed in light browns and beige. She always looked lovely, something I was completely jealous of. "So, how did Edward take the news?" she asked.

I replayed the fight in my head, and frowned. "That bad?" she replied sounded shocked.

I shook my head quickly. I didn't mean to upset her. "No, it's just telling him didn't really goes as planned," I explained.

"Oh, alright. I had it in my mind to give that boy a talking to. Are you excited, Bella?"

I still hadn't completely come to terms with my pregnancy. I was excited, yes, but I had this nagging feeling that I wasn't prepared. Of course, that was ridiculous, I had done well with Renesmee. She hadn't had a broken bone or stitches, yet. I had always wanted to have children, and when I first became pregnant with Renesmee, I was still very young. Edward and I had only been eighteen. Our parents, mine especially, weren't pleased with us. Renee took it worst, telling me that I was going to end up exactly like her. A single mother. The thought scared me, I knew I wasn't ready for a baby but as soon as Renesmee entered the world and I held her in my arms, I was ready. I wanted to be with her every minute, to watch her as she discovered everything. I would feel the same with this baby. "Yes," I whispered.

She grinned as Alice returned to the table. "Well, he was a pain in the ass," she said curtly.

"Oh Alice," Esme shook her head, embarrassed by Alice's behavior.

"Well, I am hungry. And Bella needs nutrition. Lord only knows how she eats at home."

She was right on that accusation. I didn't eat the healthiest food at home. I didn't eat much in general, I had never been able to stomach a lot of different food. I would start eating better for the baby though. Subconsciously, my hand rest on my stomach. I was going to have a baby. I smiled. "Oh Bella, I can't wait for this baby to be born. Of course, Edward is going to have to sell all of his music stuff." Alice continued.

"No!" I almost growled. Edward's music was almost as important to him as the hospital.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Then you'll have to buy a bigger house. I mean, where will the baby sleep? In the bathtub?"

I shook my head at her ideas. "Alice, the baby isn't coming for a while. We don't have to worry about this now."

"Bella's right Alice." Esme told her.

"What is the point of telling me these things, if I can't even have fun with them?"

"Because as my best friend and my sister, I'd expect you to support me," I pouted.

She threw her hands in the air as a waiter came to our table. "Finally!" she exclaimed.

"What can I get for you ladies?" the waiter asked timidly.

"I will have the chicken parmesan, please," Esme answered.

I went next, I wanted something with a little kick. "I would like the mushroom ravioli with extra peppers."

"No, no! She will have a salad with low-fat ranch dressing." Alice said, over ruling me, "And for me, I'll have the Shells Florentine."

"And what can I get you to drink?"

"Three waters," was Alice's cold answer.

The waiter looked taken aback by Alice's harshness, so I gave him an apologetic smile as he headed back to the kitchen.

"Now, where were we? Oh! That's right, we were talking about how you totally take me for granted. I mean, what would you guys do without me? That's right, get fat and never hear anything interesting ever again. Not to mention, wear ugly clothes, that comment was directed to Bella, not you mom," Alice continued her rampage.

I couldn't really pay attention when I was craving that mushroom ravioli. I wanted it and I was angry at Alice for not letting me have it. I mean, it wouldn't hurt the baby for me to eat good food. Maybe I could get something delivered… An idea popped into my head. "I have to go to the bathroom," I interrupted.

Alice waved me off, "Then go."

I quickly left my seat, almost tripping on the leg of the chair as I made my way back to the kitchen area. I would find my waiter and he would get me that ravioli. Speak of the devil. "Hey, you!" I called to him.

He looked at me and cautiously made his way over to me. "Yes?"

"I will pay you fifty bucks if you get me some mushroom ravioli and put it in my car without letting my sister-in-law see you." I flashed two twenties and a ten in front of his face.

He looked at me like I was insane. "Sure?"

I gave him a look that told him just to do it and he nodded, leaving without asking anymore questions. I made my way back to the table with a smile on my face. "You look relieved," Alice commented.

"I am," I grinned. I had beat out Alice, I would rub it in her face after I ate.

"Don't tell me about it, I don't want to hear," she replied covering her ears.

We continued to chat through lunch, though I was completely distracted by the ravioli that waited for me in my car. "Okay ladies, I should go pick up my daughter. It's almost one, school will be out for her soon." I smiled and stood.

Alice, who was in a much better mood now that she had eaten, gave me a hug and told me to call her. Esme smiled and whispered for me to enjoy my ravioli. I smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

I walked out to my car and saw the little bag that held it and I groaned. I wanted to eat it so badly. The waiter had smiled when I gave him the fifty bucks and had walked quickly away, making sure Alice wouldn't get the hint. What Alice didn't know, wouldn't hurt her.

I checked my phone once I was in the car and smiled. Edward had sent me a text message.

**I love you.**

**Take care of the baby, give it lots of love and don't let Alice get to you.**

**I'll be home early tonight.**

**Your, E.**

I made my reply quick, knowing he was probably busy.

**Lunch was lovely. I was able to sneak good food into my system without Alice catching me.**

**Have a great day, can't wait to see you.**

**I love you, B.**

*

"Momma!" Renesmee called.

I looked at my smiling daughter as she swung on the school swings. She was with her other kindergarten friends. She quickly jumped off and ran to me.

"I came to pick you up today. Is that okay?" I asked her as I wiped her sweaty bangs from her face.

She nodded and pulled me closer to her friends. "I want to tell my friends about my little brother," she cheered.

"Renesmee, we don't know if it's a girl or a boy yet. So just tell them you might have a little brother," I told her.

The girls in the group were very excited when she told them the news. The boys stood there awkwardly, not enjoying the lack of movement.

"Okay, time to go home." I told her.

"Bye, Nessie!" They all called and she waved to them as we made our way to the car. She wrapped her small hand in mine and skipped the whole way to the car.

"You really are excited, aren't you, baby?" I asked her, smiling.

She nodded, furiously. She had been grinning so much, I was surprised her face didn't hurt. "I really hope it's a boy," she cheered.

"I know, I do too. I think daddy really wants a boy."I told her.

"He wants to name him Masen Charlie Cullen," she whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"I heard him when we were sleeping. Daddy came in and talked to the baby."

My head snapped to face her. "Are you sure you weren't dreaming, sweetheart?"

"Nope, because I woke up when he started crying. I tried to hug him but he told me to go back to sleep," she continued to smile at me.

I felt my breath come out in shaky gasps. He really did care. He really wanted this baby. It was the best news I'd heard in a long, long time. I wanted to kiss him and hold him and show him how much his support meant to me. "Renesmee, we have to make a stop on the way home." I told her.

She nodded and continued to bounce up and down with happiness. She was just like Alice that way. I sped my way around town, wanting to get there as fast as possible. I felt tears fall down my face and Renesmee glance worriedly at me.

"Mommy, are you okay?" she whispered.

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

"Mommy, you look so sad," I heard the thickness in her voice and instantly regretted not talking.

"I'm fine baby. I am just so happy." I told her.

I looked back to her and saw a small tear drip down her face. I smiled at her. "I just love your daddy so much." I whispered, letting my emotions get the better of me, "Will you tell me some of the things that daddy said to the baby?"

She nodded and smiled. "He said that we will love it so much. He told it to grow well and be strong. Daddy said that you love it so much already and it would make you sad if you never saw it. Daddy cried when he talked about you."

I nodded, more tears escaping. Edward had just made everything okay. I parked close to the door. "You want to come in with me baby?" I asked her.

She nodded and grabbed my hand.

I needed to do this for him. I wanted him to know how much I loved him and how much it meant to me that he loved this baby so much already.

I grinned as I walked into the building.

**AN**: Anyone who has seen Interview with a Vampire, let me know. I really want to watch it but my mom is like, it's rated R, no. So I need to convince her. Let me know if it's good or not, and if I would be scared watching it. Thanks. And review, it'll make me want to write more.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN**: Holy shite. Okay, months upon months with nothing for you. My fault, completely. Blame me! I'm so so so so sorry but I just lost track of my life. I'm back now and I'm fixing up this story so that I can _want_ to write it again. Updates on chapters I've already written should be up pretty quickly. Most chapters won't change that much but I do want to fix some things. So, I apologize again. I don't blame you if you spit on me but please continue to read my story. Shield the Flame would be nothing without its readers and I wouldn't even bother with this if I didn't have people asking nicely. So without further ado.

Emolaaay xx

Chapter Four

When I thought of hospitals, I thought of blood. Lots and lots of blood. And also doctors being busy and hard at work. That was not how the Olympic Medical Center was. I saw many of the nurses and doctors just lounging around and talking. It frustrated me, honestly. Maybe Edward wasn't working as hard as he said he was. Renesmee, at my side, was getting anxious.

I stopped at the information desk. "Hello, my name is Isabella Cullen—" I started but was cut off by the young secretary.

"Oh! Are you Edward's sister?" she asked, her eyes gazed over with lust at his name. I wanted to hit her. But I'm not sure how leaning over the counter and gouging her eyes out would help me find my husband.

So I opted for glaring at her. She was definitely infatuated with him. "No," I said, through my teeth, "I'm his wife."

Her eyes widened at my words and she tried to cover her shock with a smile. "Oh, well, right. Can I, uh, help you with something?"

All of my romantic feelings towards Edward ceased. Did she not know that he had a wife? "Just tell me where I can find my husband, please."

Renesmee pulled at my hand, which is what she usually did when she wanted me to pick her up. I looked at her and smiled. "Not today, sweetheart. Mommy has to be careful of the baby," I told her.

She nodded and started swinging our attached arms and humming happily. "What a beautiful little girl!" the secretary exclaimed.

"Thank you. Now, where is my husband?" I rolled my eyes, as if she was going to get on my good side now. _Stupid bimbo._

She looked at the computer before answering me. "He's on the third floor, today."

I nodded and muttered a quick 'thank you.' Renesmee waved to her. We got in the old elevator and Renesmee quickly hit the button for the third floor. She wove her arms around my leg and hummed again. This time, I recognized the tune. It was the song that Edward had composed for me. He called it 'Bella's Lullaby' and with its soothing sound, I felt my heart melt again.

Ding. Renesmee practically raced from the elevator. I laughed at her excitement. She had never seen Edward at work before and honestly, I hadn't either. Sure I had visited him, but he always came and met me in the parking lot instead of me coming up to get him. I followed Renesmee's prancing steps.

"May I help you?" a nurse asked.

I faced her and gave her a quick smile. "Just visiting my husband."

"Oh, who is your husband? Do you need help finding his room?" she asked. I looked her over. She wore pink scrubs that if I were being honest I would say were too tight and her reddish blonde hair was pulled back into two pigtails. Was she trying to look younger? She looked ridiculous. And the smell of her perfume was making me gag.

"Hold that thought," I told her, "Renesmee!" I called before she could get out of my sight.

Renesmee turned around and ran back towards me, the smile never leaving her face.

"Sorry," I told the nurse, "My husband isn't a patient. He works here."

"Oh, really?" she asked, surprised. What was with the women in this place?

I nodded and looked to my daughter, who came running up to us. "Hi, I'm Renesmee Cullen," she told the nurse, holding out her hand. Her face was serious as she introduced herself. It made me laugh.

The nurse looked back to me shocked but quickly changed her features when she glanced back at Renesmee, shaking my daughter's hand "Hi, I'm Tanya," she smiled.

Tanya. The nurse Edward studied with. The woman who he ditched me for. The bitch who wore too tight clothes and pigtails even though she was probably nearing thirty years old. I felt my blood pulse in my veins and my anger grow. My mouth formed a tight line. "I'm Bella Cullen. Edward's wife. Do you think you could direct us to him?" I asked, trying and failing not to let my anger seep through my words.

She sniffed and then nodded. Her blonde hair bounced awkwardly. What the hell was her problem? I took Renesmee's hand and followed Tanya down the hall. She knocked on a patient's door. "Eddie, you have a visitor," she grinned at him through the doorway, which was completely blocking. I wasn't going to push my way through her, no matter how much of a bitch she was, I wasn't going to embarrass my husband.

She laughed at something I couldn't hear. I almost snapped. I felt my arms shaking with anger. Renesmee looked up to me, worried. Edward hated being called Eddie. He thought the name was stupid and unprofessional. What the hell was going on? Edward came out of the room in his favorite dark blue scrubs. His face was shocked but he smiled. His smile didn't reach his eyes. Something was going on, something I didn't know about. His arms extended, to pull us into a hug. I squeezed Renesmee's hand and she looked up at my tense face. I didn't want to touch Edward, not without an explanation. I wanted to know what he was hiding. Renesmee frowned at Edward. She was too perceptive to be a child. She was growing up quickly, another way she was like me. Edward's gaze when from my hard face to Renesmee's displeased one. He dropped his arms and looked down. Tanya smiled at the awkward tension that occurred around her. Stupid bitch. She rubbed Edward's arm, giving a look that I couldn't understand before walking back to the nurse's station.

"What's going on Edward?" I gritted my teeth.

He raked his hand through his hair. "Bella, please. Let's not do this now."

I growled at him and Renesmee pulled me in front of her. "No, tell me what you are hiding."

His eyes were shifty and blood shot. Was he high? His hand played with his hair again, and then he rubbed his face. "Bella, can't this please wait until later?" he begged.

I shook my head. "Renesmee, I need you to go and talk to one of the nurses. Let them do their work though, baby."

She nodded and skipped off. I stood up and crossed my arms over my chest, showing him I was an unmovable force. "Edward, are you high?" I asked, bluntly.

His eyes went wide. "What?!" he practically yelled.

I winced and tried again. "Are you high? Is that what you are trying to hide from me?"

He shook his head, growling under his breath. His hands wiped over his face again. "God, Bella, you come here and you disrupt me while I'm working and then you accuse me of being high. What is wrong with you?"

I ripped his hand off his face. "I want you to be honest with me, Edward. Are you high? Is that why you've been acting so strange lately?"

He shook his head and started to walk down the hall. "Where the hell are you going, Edward?" I called after him.

"Bella, just go home. I can't deal with this shit right now," he replied waving me off.

I ran after him. "Is this what you want? You want me to go home and make dinner and pretend like I'm okay? I'm not owned by you, Edward. I chose to be with you, to share my life with you. I chose to share everything with you and you made the same choice. You tell me what is going on. Right. Now."

"Are you trying to drive me insane? Bella, I asked you to go home. Please just do that," his voice cracked in desperation.

I shook my head. "If I go home right now, don't expect us to be there when you get home. If I leave here without an explanation, don't expect a warm meal or bed tonight. All I'm asking, Edward, is for you to tell me why every woman in this hospital acted surprised when they found out I was married to you and why you let Tanya touch you like she did. Are you having an affair? Is that what this is?" I cried.

He turned around and faced me. His face was an emotionless façade, something I was starting to get used to. "Bella, I don't want to fucking talk about this here. You are disturbing everyone. I need to get back to work. This isn't the time or the place!" he growled.

"Why isn't it, Edward? Why can't you just talk to me without getting all worked up? I know you are hiding something from me. It's obvious. You wouldn't be so defensive if you weren't. I want to know what it is. Can't you just tell me? Edward, please." I begged, my voice just above a whisper.

"Stop acting like such a child, Bella. You are being melodramatic. It's just making me angry. I told you I can't have this discussion with you. Accept it. God, you don't even think, Bella. You just come here and get in my hair when I'm working. I'm lucky my boss isn't around because you'd probably get me fired. Just go home and I'll be there when I get off work. We can take about this bull shit then. Just, leave."

I felt a cold moisture slide down my burning face. I leaned up to Edward and kissed his ear, then whispered, bitterly, "Fuck you, Edward."

I turned away and called for my daughter. "Bella!" Edward barked.

I ignored him, letting the tears freely fall from my face. How is it that such a good beginning could have such a bad end? "Bella!" he was getting closer.

"I'm going to my dad's with Renesmee. Don't try to come over there. He's got a million guns, he'd probably shoot you. I'll see you when I decide to go back to your house." Not our home, it wasn't my home right now.

"What? Are you going to hide, Bella?" he laughed humorlessly.

I felt my heart ache. Why was he acting like this? "Masen Charlie, huh? I thought you didn't like my dad," I whispered.

He was taken aback, I could hear his labored breathing right behind me. _Don't look, Bella, please, don't look._ So I didn't.

"How did you know about that?" he whispered. He went from a bitter rage to a desperate softness in seconds.

"My daughter." I replied.

"Bella—"

"Save it. You want to try and make it up to me? Don't try to moments after. I'm sorry that I wanted to come here and tell you how much I love you. I'm sorry I came here to tell you how I hope it's a boy too," I shook my head and let myself shake with the suppressed sobs, "Right now, I'm sorry I even met you."

"Bella—" his voice was hoarse.

I laughed grimly, "You obviously don't understand anything I've said. God, I'm pregnant, Edward and you go and pull this? We have a family that we have to take care of! All you've done is torment me lately, I'm so tired, Edward. I'm so sick of this. I'm tired of trying to please you and getting nothing in return. Maybe, this was wrong. Maybe," I took a deep breath, "Maybe, we aren't meant to be."

"Please, Bella. Let me get off my shift and I'll come home and we'll talk," he begged.

"It's hopeless, Edward. I've said all I needed too. I'm obviously getting nothing from you. I'm going to the house and I'm packing some things and Renesmee and I are going to take a little vacation. Maybe we'll take that Disneyworld trip early, we've been planning it forever but we never seem to have the time. Or maybe I'll just visit my dad. I've missed him a lot. I feel like I never see him anymore."

"Don't do this. I didn't mean it," he whispered.

I turned around and smiled sadly at him, through my heavy tears. "Yes, you did. And it's okay, because I mean it too."

"Momma?" Renesmee's voice was soft, timid. I bent down to her.

"Renesmee, will you do mommy a favor?"

She nodded and put her warm palm to my cheek, as if to tell me she'd do anything for me.

"Give your daddy a big hug and kiss. You won't see him for a few days because we are going to go on a trip and he has to stay behind and work," I whispered. I could feel the eyes of nurses, patients and doctors alike watching our exchange but it meant nothing. They meant nothing.

She nodded again and wormed her way into Edward's arms. "I love you, daddy."

I could see, now, that he was crying too, but it was too late. The damage was done. "I love you too, my little angel. I love you so much. Take care of mommy, okay?" he told her.

She nodded furiously into the crook of his neck, then climbed down and ran back to me, grabbing for my hand.

"Are you going to say bye to daddy?" she asked me.

I kissed her forehead and looked at Edward, who was staring at me. I could see the glimmer of hope behind his eyes. But I wanted to crush him even more than I was already. My heart had been torn from my body. I looked back into Renesmee's sparkling eyes and shook my head. "No, I'm not."

With that I pulled my daughter from the uncomfortable hospital, leaving the love of my life with his judgmental coworkers behind. We got to the car and Renesmee quickly buckled herself in. It took everything I had to drive straight. All I wanted was to curl up in a ball and sob. I wanted to scream and cry and throw things but my daughter came first always. "Renesmee, I'm going to drop you off at Grandpa Charlie's while I go home and get our suitcases, okay? That way you get a little more time to see him."

She smiled at me. She had always loved visited my dad. I loved it too. He cared so much for the both of us. I couldn't have asked for a more supportive father, even if he didn't always approve of Edward. Just thinking of him brought a fresh round of bile in my throat.

I pulled in the driveway and saw the lights of the flat screen flashing from the living room. He was watching some sports game. I usually would've smiled and laughed at my father's routine but I wasn't sure that I could. Renesmee dragged me to the front step where I knocked and opened the door.

"Hello?" I called roughly.

Charlie barely looked up from the game. "Bells! Ness!" he cheered as Renesmee ran up and curled into his side.

He chuckled, wrapping his arm around her and giving her a kiss on her forehead. "Dad, do you think I could talk to you for a second?" I asked.

He turned to me suspiciously and nodded. He turned the channel to some cartoon thing and pulled himself from Renesmee, promising his swift return. We stopped in the kitchen and I fell into his chest and started crying. Charlie, who had never been one for emotion, quickly wound his arms around me and awkward rocked me but it was enough. It was all the comfort I needed. My dad, being my dad.

"Bella, Bella, what is it? What's wrong?" he asked hurriedly.

"I told Edward that Renesmee and I were leaving for a while. He won't tell me what is going on. I think… I think he's cheating on me. So I told him we were taking a break," I laughed bitterly, "Like we're dating or something. Everything has been all over the place. I don't know what to do daddy. Help me, I love him so much but I'm so tired and I don't know what to do if you can't help me," I cried.

"Bella, my girl. It's okay, I've got you. Do you want to stay here for a few days? Till you get back on your feet?" he asked.

I nodded into his chest. My tears stained his shirt as I buried my stuffy nose in his scent. "Dad, I need to tell you something," I whispered.

"You can tell me anything, sweetheart," I knew that if I looked up, I would see him blushing at the tear of endearment.

"I'm going to have another baby, daddy."

He stiffened a bit and I felt guilty for putting so much on him, all at once. "That's great, Bells. I'm happy for you." It was a well hidden lie. He was worried.

I shook my head. "I don't know how to do this without him."

"We'll figure this out. You really need to calm down. I'm going to get you a glass of water." He pulled away and walked towards the sink.

That's when I noticed how clean it was. "What happened here?" I asked, somewhat bewildered. Charlie had never been Mister Tidy. When I moved to Forks from Phoenix, I'd come home to a huge mess and a cleaning adventure awaiting me.

He turned back to me, glass in hand, blushing. "I have had some help around here," he mumbled.

My eyebrows quirked. "You hired a maid?"

"No, not like that. Sue's been coming around a lot," he said quietly.

I laughed lightly. My dad had a crush. I never thought I'd see the day where bachelor Charlie Swan became a stuttering, blushing man over a woman. "Dad, do you like Sue?"

His head snapped up and he smiled. "She's great, Bells. She's been a real help since you've been gone." He said gone with a bitter tone and the guilt came around again.

I forced a smile and gave him a peck on the cheek. "I'm glad someone is looking out for you, when I'm not around."

He nodded and shifted awkwardly. Same old Charlie. "Well, do you need to run any errands or anything?"

"I need to go and get some stuff from the house, so I don't have to go there everyday. I think I may take Renesmee on a trip. She's never been out of Washington. I think she might enjoy going to Disneyworld and a visit with Renee or something. I don't think I _can_ be around him. We both said some things that hit home, well at least they did for me."

Charlie nodded. His face had turned hard. "You go on. I'll watch the squirt for you."

"Thanks dad."

We walked back to see a cozy Renesmee, half asleep on the couch. I leaned in and kissed her forehead, pushing her hair to the side. "Baby, I'm going to go get some of our stuff. Can you stay here with Grandpa for me?"

She nodded, sleepily. I kissed her forehead again, smiled at Charlie and headed back to the car.

The drive back to the house was eerie and nerve racking. I had a feeling that Edward would be there, no matter what I had told him. I was wrong though, as usual. There was no Volvo in the driveway. It comforting and yet so disappointing at the same time. The quiet of the house broke my heart. I rushed the packing. I just threw my clothes into the suitcase. I left the things that reminded me of Edward. I looked back to our bed and felt bile rise in my throat. I rushed to greet the porcelain of the toilet. When I finished all I could taste was the salt of tears and the acid of vomit.

_You are so pathetic, Bella._

_Why me?_ I asked myself, why did it have to hurt this much? Why did it have to happen so quickly? How did I walk in to see him with only the best intentions and end up leaving with a pile of broken dreams?

I closed my eyes and headed back to the bed. I rested my head against Edward's pillow. It had his sweet honey scent. I wanted to take his with me and replace his with mine but that would just make me a weakling. I needed to quit cold turkey. I tore myself away from it and stuffed my pillow in the suitcase.

I then turned to Renesmee's room, smiling at the memories of this room. It had taken Edward and me forever to decide on how we would decorate. He said blue, of course. I said purple. Purple won. He could never say no to me. Well, I guess that no longer applied.

I packed Renesmee's suitcase with more care, she would be able to sense my distress if I didn't handle things with precision. She knew me better than I knew myself and she was still so young. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the thought that I was doing to her, what Renee had done to me. I had no plans to leave Edward, to extinguish him from her life or to take her away from her family. I shook the idea from my head. I wasn't my mother.

When I locked up I heard a familiar voice from the driveway. "Edward, it'll be okay," she told him, with a certain fierceness that not even I would deny. Why was she here?

**AN**: I would love for someone to pimp out some other stories on FF for me to read. Here are a few I'm into right now:

Disintegration by **meimei42**- I adore this story.

Volition by **Rachelle Allison**- I love Edward and Bella's relationship in this one.

Pieces by **crimsonmarie**- Fantastic.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **

I'm BACK! After a six month hiatus. I'm so sorry. If you want to kill me, I totally understand. Really, just punch me. I shouldn't make excuses but I didn't get a new laptop until about a month ago and I'm back in school. I'm really, really sorry. These next few chapters are the reedited versions of what I took down. It will make me feel better to redo some of these chapters. SO, updates for a while should go pretty quickly until I started writing new chapters then they won't be as frequent but hopefully at least one chapter a week. Alright, I'm rambling. So, onward!

Thank you to those of you who left reviews and sent messages. I owe you guys big and I'm sorry I didn't get back to all of you.

Chapter Five

"Alice?" I whispered.

She stepped out from beside her car. All four foot eleven of her looked pissed. Even through her wide Coach sunglasses, I could feel her death glare.

She shook her head at me, holding up a finger. "Look, Edward. I'm with her now, so just hang on a minute. No, I won't let you talk to her… Because you need to calm the fuck down.

She lifted her glasses and frowned. "I leave you for like five hours and in the mean time you pick up Renesmee, drive her to the hospital, have a bitch fit in front of all his colleagues and then basically leave him. What the hell is wrong with you?"

I rolled my eyes, seething as I continued my walk to my car with the suitcases. I'm not that big of an idiot to not realize that she didn't hang up her phone. She had her BlackBerry headset in her ear so I knew she was still talking to Edward and he's listening to me.

"So you take his side without knowing the whole story? Of course. I get that he's your older brother and your goddamn hero but sometimes Alice, he's wrong too. I may be clumsy, and I may act childish every once in a while but when my husband hides things from me and embarrasses me in public, I think I deserve some support. Hang up the goddamn phone, Alice. Either you talk to me or you talk to him, but right now, I don't even want to hear him breathe. He obviously didn't care enough to be here to talk to me himself so—" I was interrupted by Edward's yells through the phone.

His voice was so loud that Alice practically ripped the head set from her ear. I heard his slur of profanities and instantly knew he was drunk, sloppy drunk. He was such a selfish ass. He was supposed to be working, not drinking himself into oblivion. I walked up to Alice and curled my finger, beckoning for the phone. She sighed and dropped it in my palm. I unplugged the headset and put the speaker to my ear.

"Where are you?" I asked, coldly.

"Some bar, but baby listen, I—" he started.

"What bar, Edward?" I sighed, impatiently.

"O'Connell's. Our old bar, Bella. Remember?" O'Connell's was where we bought our first legal drinks on my twenty-first birthday. I gulped and nodded, though he couldn't see me.

"Yeah," I whispered, "Edward, I'm going to call Emmett to come get you."

"What? Why? Why won't you get me? I don't want Emmett to come get me. I don't give a flying fuck about Emmett." he demanded.

"You know why Edward. I just can't. I will make sure that Emmett takes care of you since I can't," my voice was shaky.

"Can't or won't?! Dammit Bella! I told you I was fucking sorry. I can't fucking believe that you could just leave me. I know I was an asshole, but God Bella, you just came in there at embarrassed me at my job. The job I've worked so damn hard for. Why can't you just forgive me and let go of all of this shit?" he yelled.

"Edward, you need to calm down. We are not going to have this conversation now, not when you are so drunk you won't remember in the morning. We can talk in a few days. I just need… time," I whispered. His drunken anger truly frightened me. Edward wasn't one who got drunk all the time, in fact he wasn't a big fan of any type of alcohol, not even wine. We were a lot alike in that way.

"Bella, this is fucking stupid."

I shook my head, "No. What's stupid is how juvenile you are being. I'm going to call Emmett and have him stay with you tonight and take care of you during your massive hangover because I have a feeling you haven't been going light. Call me when you can take responsibility with a sense of pride instead of a side of vodka."

"Bella, I don't care about fucking Emmett. I want you to come, pick me up and take me home."

"Here's Alice," I whispered.

I handed Alice the phone and took out my own. Behind me, I heard Alice's hushed pleas to her brother. "Hello?" a female voice answered, they sounded groggy.

"Rose?" I asked.

"Bella?" she asked in return.

"Yeah, it's me. Is Emmett there?"

"Are you okay? Bell, what happened? Why do you sound so distraught?" Rosalie's voice was growing anxious.

"I need to talk to Emmett, but I swear I'll call you when I get to Charlie's and give you my side of the story. I'm sure you'll hear an ear full of bull shit from Emmett," I told her, trying to lighten my voice.

I heard her growl. "What the fuck did he do?"

It surprised me how she reacted. I knew she didn't exactly like Edward but still, we weren't exactly close. She knew too well the faults of men and while we weren't the best of friends, I always could count on her. She was fiercely loyal to everyone she cared about and it made me feel better knowing I had at least one friend.

"Rose, please?" I whispered.

"Yeah, okay. But you better call me back, Bella." She threatened fiercely.

"Promise," I mumbled.

"'Ello puppet, McCarty residence," Emmett's voice boomed through the line.

"Em, it's Bella."

"Yeah, I figured. What did you do to piss off Rose?"

I choked on a laugh. "Edward and I are fighting, she's just being protective. What are friends for, right?"

"Whose fault is it? Who am I supposed to side with this time?" he was chuckling.

"I bet Edward will give you an earful. Can you go pick him up for me? I just can't… now. I mean, I've got to get back to Renesmee and probably pick up some groceries," I stumbled over my words, my tone staying quietly calm.

"Bells, you going to be okay? You don't sound so hot."

"I just need you to take Edward back to the house and maybe stay with him tonight? I don't want him to be alone, he's not good with hangovers. Of course, you would know that best, wouldn't you?" I laughed solemnly.

"Yeah, sure. Alone? You aren't gonna be there?"

"Renesmee and I are going to be staying with Charlie for a while," I whispered.

"So this is pretty fucking serious?" he asked, astonished.

"I don't know what's gonna happen, Emmett. I'm so scared," I murmured. I felt the sting of new tears behind my eyes.

"I'm going to kill him," Emmett growled.

"No, no. Please, take care of him. I may not be happy with him, but I love him. I just need to him to realize that he loves me too."

"Bella, he does love you. What are you talking about?"

I ignored his question, since even I wasn't one hundred percent sure what I meant. "He's at O'Connell's. Take good care of him, and tell Rosalie I'll call her after Renesmee's asleep." I hung up and turned to Alice, who in an instant held me in her small grasp.

She sighed. "Bella, I know that my brother is an idiot. Trust me, I do but you guys love each other. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just have never heard him so broken up before."

I leaned into her embrace. "I just wanted to know what he was hiding. Why is he hiding things from me?" I cried.

"Bella, don't. Bella, please don't cry. If you cry, I'll start crying and then my makeup will run. It just won't end up pretty."

"I love him so much, Alice," I whispered into her shoulder.

"I know you do," she replied.

"Will you take care of him for me? I know Emmett said he would, but I need a girl, my sister to make sure he's okay. I don't want to be gone forever. I just want to give us both time. He needs to decide if his secrets are more important than our marriage and I need to take care of myself for this baby and for Renesmee."

She nodded. "I'll take good care of him for you, I promise."

"I should get back to Renesmee. Call me though, okay?" I mumbled against her shoulder.

"Definitely."

She gave me a final squeeze then we both headed to our cars. The ride back to Charlie's couldn't go fast enough. I pulled in and stalked slowly up the steps, erasing any indication of tears. "Dad? Renesmee?" I called as I pushed open the door.

"Living room!" was Charlie's reply.

I smiled as I saw Renesmee huddled against Charlie's side. They were watching some kid's show, which I was surprised by; usually Charlie was in control of the remote. He always had be a sucker for his granddaughter. He smiled back at me before turning his attention back to the television. Renesmee patted the couch beside her, telling me to sit with them. I nodded and quickly jumped to join them. Renesmee giggled as I tickled her. Charlie chuckled at as before turning the station. ESPN, go figure. "Momma, can we have pizza for dinner?"

I eyed Charlie, who was feigning interest in the commercial that played on the TV. "How much did Grandpa pay you to say that?"

She shook her head, innocently. "I just want pizza."

I laughed and pulled her onto my lap. "I guess pizza would be okay."

Charlie grinned and stood up. "I'll go order then."

When he was gone Renesmee whispered in my ear. "Five dollars."

I laughed and rocked us back and forth. Charlie came back and joined us, saying dinner would be here in thirty minutes. I, tired of the sports game Charlie had on, went up to my old room. Everything was how I left it after I left for college. I smiled, skimming my fingers over the dusty bookshelf. The titles were all familiar and worn. Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, Vanity Fair and Othello. My old favorites. I picked out Wuthering Heights. It was my favorite. After reading it so much, the pages had turned yellow and were bent, you could barely read the cover. My hand brushed over it. A piece of paper was sticking out of the front page—_that_ I didn't remember. I sat down on my old bed and opened the tattered paper.

**Bella, **

**You left this. I know it's your favorite. (Though, I really don't understand why.) I thought I should bring it back. I hope when you find it you smile and give me lots of kisses in thanks. You know I deserve it. ;)**

**I love you, always.**

**Edward**

I felt the soft tears fall down my cheeks. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him now. Our high school relationship had been nothing less than dramatic. Edward was the desire of every girl at Forks High School. I was the quiet, reclusive new girl. We were drawn to each other. We were biology desk mates and partners turned good friends turned lovers. Edward had been my first for everything. First kiss, first boyfriend, my first love, the first to make love to me and nothing would cause me to want to change that.

I sat motionless for a while. I wasn't sure how long, I couldn't really think about anything but Edward. I was beginning to regret my words. He was everything to me. He was what kept me together. At some point I had curled up under the sheets, grasping onto my chest for dear life. It felt empty, hollow, sickly. I felt like I was missing every vital organ.

I heard the soft creak of the stairs and knew that Renesmee and Charlie were coming to tell me it was time for dinner. Renesmee's soft humming of another of Edward's compositions made the ache spread. I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep.

"Momma!" Renesmee cheered.

"Looks like she's asleep, Ness. She needs her rest. We'll save her some," he said, pulling the door shut.

I could cry in peace now. I pulled Edward's note to my chest and hugged onto it. I was so angry with him for being so indifferent. He couldn't just tell me. What was he hiding? I had always known I wasn't good enough for him but had he really needed to cheat? What about me wasn't enough for him?

Angry tears fell onto my shirt and the worn out note. I couldn't stop them. I wanted to hit him and yell at him. I wanted to tell him how I hated him and I hated what he did to me. I wanted to leave him and let go. I wanted to kiss him and make love to him. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and always would. I wanted to watch him rejoice over our new addition. I wanted him to fill the gaping hole in my chest and tell me he was sorry and that never again would he hurt me. I wanted him to come clean. But at that point, all of my hopes were lost in the confusion of our relationship. My head reeled in uncertainty. Maybe I was over reacting. Was this all my fault? Was I being too emotional? Was I making up these problems to hurt my relationship with Edward? Did I want things to end? But the thoughts always ended in the same place.

_What am I going to do?_

**AN: Stay tuned for more, yins.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: **

Sorry, I'm already apologizing. But I have good reason! I've been staying at my sister's house to help her prepare for her first baby (her husband, Jared, is in the Marines and on his second tour) and she gave birth Sunday morning. Little Johanna Elizabeth was born at 11:48am on Sunday February 7, 2010. My sister was upset because her due date was St. Patrick's Day… She's a beautiful little tyke. Both she and my sister, Marie, are in perfect shape. They will be released on Friday so updates will be a little sketchy for a while. Jared won't be home until late May, so I'll be helping with the baby until then.

And I forgot the disclaimer last chapter: **I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT. NEVER HAVE, NEVER WILL. **My insides ache. :(

Chapter Six

"Bella," he whispered.

I smiled as I felt is cool fingers trace down my arms, and kept my eyes closed. "You are so beautiful."

I laughed at his words, he clearly was looking at himself. He stood beside the bed in his boxers and a wife beater. His hand moved to caress my face, slowly grazing my cheeks. I leaned into his cool touch. He chuckled and bent down beside my face. His soft lips kissed my ear. I shuddered in elation. "Bella, my love. I am so lucky to have you," he murmured with his lips still on my ear.

I smiled and pulled his face to my own. We stayed like that for a while, his lips on mine. The sweet taste of his mouth filled my senses. He fell into bed alongside me, pulling me into his chest. I laughed as he continued to kiss my hair and my neck. I gasped when he found the sweet spot between my shoulder blade and neck. He chuckled and resumed his kissing. He made his way back up my neck to my lips. "My Bella," he mumbled.

I lifted his shirt, letting my hands travel freely across his bare chest. He moaned against my lips. "Bella, wake up," he said.

I laughed and held his body closer to me. "I am awake," I smiled and began kissing his shoulder.

"Bella, honey, it's time to wake up," it wasn't Edward's voice that was waking me. It was Charlie's.

It was all a dream. Edward wasn't here and I was alone.

I sat up quickly, my hands grasping at my chest. My heart beat frantically and tears filled my eyes. "Bella?" Charlie's voice was apprehensive.

I shook my head, sitting up. "I'm okay," I couldn't tell whether I was telling myself or Charlie.

He hand began rubbing circles on my back. "Where's Renesmee?" I whispered.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Well, Billy came over with Jake, so Jake's watching over her."

I nodded. "What time is it?" I rubbed my face to force myself to wake.

"It's almost two."

I nodded again. "I, uh, I'll be down in a little while," I mumbled against my knees.

"Okay, Bells."

He quietly shut the door and I grabbed my phone. I dialed the house number. It only rang three times before my call was answered.

"Hello?" Edward's hoarse voice filled my ears.

_Good Morning Edward_, I wanted to say.

"Hello?" he repeated.

_I hope you miss me._

"Bella? Is that you?" his voice was strained.

_Yes, it's me. Did you get home safe? Is Emmett there with you? I forgot to call Rosalie last night._

"Bella, love. Is that you?"

_I wish you were here._

"If that's you Bella, I love you," he whispered.

_I love you too but it's not enough now._

I hit the end button and threw the phone to the end of the bed. I wouldn't cry today. I grabbed a clean outfit and went to the bathroom. The heat from the shower was relaxing and helped clear me from the unwanted thoughts. The soap left a refreshing, and familiar scent. I let my hand relax on my stomach. There wasn't a bump yet. It was so hard to believe I was carrying someone else. My fingers trembled lightly as they ran over my stomach. The thought of another Cullen child in the world made me smile. I could see a little boy with my brown hair and Edward's bright green eyes. His smile was a replica of Edward's. He would be talented like Edward. And intelligent like me. And beautiful like Renesmee. Another piece of our family. "I can't wait to see you little one," I whispered as I continued to rub my stomach.

"Bella!" I voice snapped through the bathroom door.

I yelped. "Who is it?"

"Who is it?" a female voice mocked.

I turned off the water and wrapped myself in a towel. "Rosalie?"

"Who else would interrupt you in the shower and then bitch at you?" she replied.

"Alice?" I answered.

"Well, Alice would do it tastefully. I'm doing a hostile take over."

"Can it wait till I'm not naked?" I asked, laughing.

"Like I haven't seen you naked before," she scoffed.

I laughed harder. "I think you are confusing me with Emmett."

"Dude, I have a camera hidden in your bedroom," she said nonchalantly.

I opened the door and smack her on the arm. "That's sick, Rose."

She laughed and held up a wine bottle. "I brought a nice present for us."

I rolled my eyes and let my hand fall to my stomach. "Pregnant," I sighed.

She turned the bottle so I could read the label. "Non alcoholic. Please, I have to work tomorrow. I don't have time to get hammered."

She walked into my old room, leaving me to follow, which I did. I sighed as she went through my clothes picking out something else for me to wear. "Why don't you own good clothes? I mean, Alice is your best friend and she's like obsessed with looking good. I don't understand this."

I rolled my eyes and put on the clothes I had originally picked out. A white t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants. She sat on my bed and struggled to open the bottle. I laughed as she jumped when the cap popped off. "Shut up and drink, Bella." She handed me the bottle.

I took a small sip and handed it back to her. It tasted awful. Rosalie saw my grimace and frowned. "I bought the cheap shit because I don't want to waste money on girl talk when I can't even get drunk."

"I didn't say anything," I replied, taking a seat beside her.

"You act like I'm blind, Bella," she sighed, "So, I'll get this puppy rolling. Are you going to divorce Edward?"

"That was… blunt," I muttered. My left hand raked through my damp hair.

"Answer," she barked, taking a very unladylike swig of the faux wine.

My hands rubbed my face as I answered. "No, I don't think so."

"So you are going back to him?"

"Eventually. I meant, I don't really know yet."

"Is that a 'in a few days' eventually or a 'when he stops being a dickhead' eventually?"

I looked into her concerned gaze. "Stops being a jerk, I guess. It's not really that he's being a jerk though, Rose. I mean, yeah, he said some things, but I did too. I just have this bad feeling about his actions. I want to know if he's doing something behind my back and he won't give me an answer."

I ducked my head into my hands. Rosalie lightly pushed the hair from my face and lowered her tone. "No one said marriage was easy, Bella. It was a choice that you both made. You both said some things that you regret, but in the end it comes down to, do you still want to go home with him?"

"Do you mean sexually?" I blushed.

She laughed. "No, I'll rephrase. Will he always be the guy that you want to spend forever with?"

I nodded, pathetically.

"Then this'll work itself out, Bella," she said firmly.

"Do you know what he's hiding? Did he tell Emmett?" I mumbled through my fingers.

"I don't know. I'm not sure whether Emmett knows or not. But I do know that Edward was going on and on about you guys last night, so I would not be surprised."

"What if he's cheating on me? How do you come back from that?"

She didn't answer right away. Her hand continued to brush through my wet hair. "I don't really know, Bella. I haven't ever been in that situation but I really don't think that is the case, Bella. I don't think Edward would ever dream of being with anyone else. In all the time that I've known you two, Edward has never even glanced at another woman."

I knew deep down that she was right but a part of my mind desperately hoped to break me. That part of my mind told me how I had always known how much better Edward was than me. It had never seemed right that he chose me. _But he did choose you_.

"This is just really screwed up. I mean, you should've been there yesterday. God, his face. It was like I was the one who screwed up. And he let that nurse—Tanya," I spat out her name, "touch him and call him 'Eddie.'"

"What? Well, he obviously didn't like it. I mean, he _loathes_ being called 'Eddie,' you know that. It'll work out. I'm sure it will. I mean, you guys are Edward and Bella. You are like the modern Elizabeth and Mr. Darney."

I laughed. "Mr. _Darcy_," I corrected.

I felt the bed move and looked up to see Rosalie moving towards the door. "Where are you going, Rose?"

"I hate girl talk. I wanna do something fun. You are going to get up so we can go to do something awesomely fun that will make you let loose for a while."

I laughed. "So, where are we going?"

"Well, I wanna go meet that hot guy downstairs." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively before winking.

"Jake?" I asked.

"Big muscles, long black hair and the nicest tan I've ever seen."

"Jake." I answered.

"He's fucking hot. Why didn't you get with him?"

I looked at her, almost appalled by the idea. Edward was everything I'd ever want, well, without the whole secret thing. Jake would always just be my friend. I couldn't see him as anything else. "I love Edward. Jake's always just been my friend," was my firm response.

She nodded and made her way downstairs with me following, yet again. "Charlie, I have managed to get Bella totally hammered on booze."

I could almost see the shocked on my dad's face. "She's kidding!" I announced as I came into the room. Charlie threw Rose a look which she mocked. She always enjoyed irking him. It was hilarious to watch.

"Rosalie, I think we should go out."

"Aw, but I wanna spend some more time with my Charbear." She winked at my dad.

I let out a snort and mouthed 'sorry' to my dad. Pushing Rose out, I waved to Billy and Charlie. "Why do you have to ruin my fun?" she feigned a pout.

"Well, when you are devoted to tormenting and old man, I think that it becomes necessary for me to intervene. One of these days, you are going to give my father a heart attack." I laughed.

"Oh, boo," she waved her hand dismissively.

"Momma!" Renesmee's musical voice called.

I smiled as she ran to me. "You slept so much, momma."

I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her rosy cheek. "I know, baby, I was exhausted."

"I'm playing with Jakey!" She giggled.

"I heard," I turned my attention to him as he bound towards us smiling, "Don't kill my kid, okay, Jake?"

"Damn, ruin my plan, Bells," he snapped his fingers.

"Language," I glared.

He quickly covered his mouth, and wiggled his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes and gave Renesmee another squeeze. "Go say hi to Aunt Rose," I told her. She nodded and ran over to an awaiting Rosalie.

Before I knew it, Jake had engulfed me in a hug. I was surrounded by his woodsy scent. I let myself relax in his grasp before pushing him away. "Watch yourself, Jacob. I'm a fragile package again," I growled.

He chuckled. "I heard. You've got another bun in the oven. Who's your baby daddy?"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "My husband, you idiot."

"Oh, right. The jackass."

I smacked his arm. "Shut up."

"I'm just saying." He held up his hands in surrender.

I nodded, not willing to start anything. Jake was definitely not a fan of Edward. And that was a mutual feeling between them. "Take care of her while I'm gone. I won't be out long."

"Will do, Bells. Be good." He kissed my forehead and then called for Renesmee who waved to Rosalie and then ran to join us.

"Be nice to Jake," I told her.

She nodded and gave me a kiss. "I love you, momma."

"I love you, too, Renesmee." I smiled.

"Hello, Bella. I have a life, let's go!" Rose yelled.

I took my time walking over to her car, just to annoy her. She was glaring at me through the window.

"Fucking whore, get the car."

I laughed and jumped in. "So, where are we going?"

"A bar?" she grinned, deviously.

"I can't drink," I reminded her.

"I know, but I can."

"How does that make me feel better?"

She looked at me with a quirked eyebrow. "Why is everything always about you Bella? I want booze."

I laughed. "Of course you do."

"Booze! Booze! Booze!" She chanted, frowning.

I rolled my eyes and laughed at her. "You sound like Alice," I smiled.

Her head shook. "Shopping, shopping, shopping!" she chanted, in an annoyingly loud and cheery voice.

"Okay, okay! I take it back." We laughed.

We were silent the rest of the drive. It wasn't uncomfortable, but the feeling I got about going to a bar was. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea. It felt like some form of doom was waiting for me. Maybe Rosalie was doing more than just trying to cheer me up. I shook the thoughts from my head. I was becoming so paranoid.

"iPod?" Rosalie asked.

I nodded, smiling.

The tune of "Disintegration" by Jimmy Eat World filled my ears and I immediately stiffened. Rose quickly tried to change the song, but I stopped her. "It's just a song," I whispered.

_Wonder why I'm so caught off guard when we kiss.  
Rather live my life in regret then do this.  
What happened to the love we both knew?  
We both chased.  
Hanging on a cigarette you need me,  
you burn me you'll burn me._

Hushed with a finger  
Don't say you'll never when you might,  
or just another time.  
This poison comes instruction free.  
Do what you want, but I'm drinking.

Rose looked to me. I closed my eyes and listened to the lyrics. Jim Adkins' voice brings out the melancholy words and makes me think of Edward, and how our current relationship is much like this song.

"I really wish I had some vodka." I heard Rosalie sigh.

"You and me both sister," I murmured.

We were silent again but this silence was more than awkward.

"Bowling!" she exclaimed, suddenly.

I looked at her quizzically. "What?"

She looked a little timid. "Bowling is fun, right?"

I smiled sadly. "No booze?"

"Bowling! Bowling! Bowling!" She chanted, mocking herself.

"Okay, well, I guess we are going bowling.

*

Two hours later, we were back in the car. I, surprisingly, had kicked Rose's butt. She couldn't stop laughing. Who woulda thunk, Rosalie Hale had become a bowling junkie.

"We are going to make bowling or usual hang out," she giggled.

I laughed with her, "Only if you don't try to flirt your way out of paying for your nachos again."

"He wanted it. I can't help it that he was married."

"God, you always find any situation to use your looks."

She looked at me innocently. "Why, Isabella Marie Cullen, I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about."

We were both laughing so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants. "Rose, I had a lot of fun—"

She cut me off with her raised palm. "You think that we are done hanging out?! Seriously?"

My brows furrowed. "Are we going somewhere else?"

"Nope," she popped the 'p.'

"Are you going to kill me, Rose?" I asked, teasingly.

I saw her eyes roll. "Shit, what did I say that gave it away?"

"So, if you aren't going to kill me and we aren't going anywhere else, what are we going to do?"

"Sleep over!" she squealed, lightheartedly and she took another swig of the root beer she had bought.

I couldn't hide the smile that crept on my face. "So you lied then, you are going to kill me. But really, I haven't had a sleepover since I was seventeen. Aren't we a little old for that?"

She sighed. "Always one for dramatics, aren't we Bella? And girls are never too old to pass out on a candy overload."

"Yup," I grinned.

**AN**:

Rec's:

If you haven't read **Master of the Universe**, you are really missing out. It's written by **Snowqueens Icedragon**. I adore it. My absolute favorite. I've reread it so many times I've lost count. She writes an amazing Angsty Domward.

**Family of Perfection** by **DazzlinSparkle05**. Wonderful.

**Chasing Cars** by **XOXOgossipgirl21**. This is one of my other favorites. It's written so well. Smokella and Daddyward make me so happy.

Okay, see you next weekend? I hope.

Please leave some reviews?!


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: **

Johanna's cute and all but… I'm not sure what my opinion on having kids is now… She's not a very nice child. Gets it from her mom.

Okie, well, here's chapter seven. Most of this chapter was brought to you by **Jimmy Eat World** and **30 Seconds to Mars**.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. :) If I didn't message you back, I'm sorry. Hotmail hates my guts.

Chapter Seven

"Bella boo?" Rosalie's groggy voice pulled me from my somewhat peaceful comatose.

As soon as I was completely conscious, I was instantly hit was an overwhelming headache. "What the fuck did you do to me?" I snarled.

She laughed. "We ate too much candy. You totally fucking passed out," I could barely make out her words through her giggle fit.

"I hate you." I began to massage my forehead.

"It was so funny," she laughed.

I heard a thump and opened my eyes to see Rosalie on the floor, still cracking up. She pounded her hand on the floor. "Stop being so loud! I feel like I have a hangover! If you continue, I can't say that I won't throw up on you," I cried, putting my palms against my ears.

She continued her wild cackling so I threw the pillow from beneath my head at her. "Oof!"

I grinned at my success and decided I would get no more sleep because Rosalie was here with me. As my body stretched after its long night of uncomfortable sleep, I frowned at the tightness in my muscles and stiffness of my joints. "I'm gonna make breakfast, Bella boo," Rosalie said, grinning at me, "What sounds good?"

I hadn't even felt my hunger until her mention of food. But as soon as she spoke, I heard the rumbling of my empty stomach. It wasn't hard to guess what sounded good to eat since my cravings were out of control. "Eggs. Just a lot of eggs and maybe some bacon. I could go for some potato salad or tomato soup and pickles…" I began to mumble at all the possible food options that made my mouth water.

Rosalie stared at me blankly. "Cereal it is!"

I laughed. "I'll cook."

She pumped her fist in the air. Rose and Emmett both had the appetite of a bear, only her body didn't show it. Emmett, on the other hand, actually looked like a bear. He was tall and had the huge muscles. From just appearance, Emmett was beyond intimidating. In reality, Emmett was just a giant teddy. His and Rose's appearances were complete opposites. Rose was statuesque with her thin frame and platinum blonde hair. She was beautiful, probably more beautiful than any human model on earth, and she knew it. Rose used her beauty to her advantage while Emmett used his muscles to get what he wanted. They both had a vast love for cars. That's probably the only thing that they really have in common. Emmett and Rose fight all the time. Rose says it's fine because, and I quote, "make up sex is better than anything else in the whole fucking world."

"I'm going to make eggs and bacon. Do you have any issues with that?" I said, my hands sliding to my hips.

She shook her head and turned back to the living room where she plopped on the couch and turned in the television. I looked around the kitchen I had spent so much time in. Between me and Charlie, there was no doubt that I had the upper hand in cooking. My small amount of culinary expertise was without doubt something I had learned over time and had nothing to do with my gene pool. The only things Charlie knew how to cook were eggs and bacon. At least I knew he had been getting his protein since I moved out. Renee wasn't much of a cook either. She preferred experimenting and making things that probably shouldn't be eaten, not even by animals.

I opened Charlie's fridge to find it properly stocked, which was a surprise. It must have been because of Sue, Charlie's new "girlfriend." The thought kind of disturbed me and I wouldn't be asking what they did behind closed doors any time soon.

The eggs had already been opened but enough remained that Rose, Charlie, Renesmee and I could eat. And if not, I'm sure Charlie could go without the grease and just eat some healthy cereal. Lord knows he needed the change in his dietary consumption.

I smiled at the familiarity of the stove as I placed a pan over one of the burners. I missed being home with Charlie. He was awkward and reserved but he was one of the greatest dads. He tried to be the best for me, and it's always been more than appreciated. It meant so much to me that he was always there for me and Renesmee. Sometimes I question who he loves more.

"Bella!" Rose whined from her spot on the couch.

"Rosalie, it's been like five minutes. If you want something to do, nicely go wake up Charlie and Renesmee. Be nice though. You frighten Charlie enough as it is." I giggled at the thought of Charlie being woken up by Rosalie. Knowing her, she'd probably lay beside him and whisper perverted things in his ear.

"You're kidding, right? I'm always nice to Charlie. He's my boo. You may not know this Bella, but I am your real mother," I heard her loud guffaws and rolled my eyes but she did remind me of the unresolved task of informing Renee of my… situation with Edward.

I knew that Renee would probably try to say things to make me go back to him. She wasn't necessarily going to take his side but Renee loved Edward. She always held him in the highest regards because of his uncanny ways of making me happy. Renee may have been erratic and irresponsible but she knew more than most did about love. She was a complete sucker for it. When she found out how much Edward and I loved each other, she did all but propose to me for him. She didn't care that we got married right out of high school, even though growing up she taught me that marriage so early was a mistake, even if you thought it was love. She told me she didn't want me to end up like her. I never thought that there was anything wrong with her. I understood that she couldn't stay with Charlie and I was fine with it when she found Phil and married him rashly. I just wanted her to be happy just like she wanted for me. That's why she would push me until I ended up back in Edward's arms. I knew I would go back to him, there was no way I could live without him but I wasn't sure when I would go. The fighting was just too much for me.

I was pulled away from my thoughts at the sound of arguing from upstairs. Rosalie had gotten herself in trouble. I chuckled and shook my head as I dished out eggs for the four of us, when I felt a tug on my shirt. I bent down to kiss Renesmee's forehead.

"Momma, I'm tired," she whined.

I laughed. "Did they wake you?"

She nodded. "Grandpa and Aunt Rosie are fighting."

"I know," I smiled.

She pouted. It was the most adorable thing I'd ever seen, it made me want to pull her in my arms and swing her back in forth as I squished her to me. I sounded like Emmett. One of her fist rubbed her eye and the other clung to her favorite stuffed animal. A wolf named Jake. After her favorite person, besides her momma and daddy. I rolled my eyes at the remembrance of Edward's reaction to the name.

"_Nessie, what are you gonna name your new wolf?" I asked as she bounced on Jake's leg._

_She was giggling up a storm. Edward sat stiffly beside me, he and Jacob had never been even remotely friendly towards each other. Edward obsessed over my friendship with him, saying that Jake really only wanted to steal my heart from Edward. He was always ridiculously jealous of Jacob. And Jacob wouldn't tell me why he hated Edward so much. He said "Edward is just a pretty boy and it makes me want to puke out my guts on his stupid hair."_

"_Jake!" she had squealed._

"_Jake, stop bouncing her so she can answer me," I said, smiling._

_He did and she frowned. "I wanna name him Jake, Momma."_

_Jacob's eyebrows quirked and a smirk slipped on his face. "Jake, huh?"_

_She nodded and squeezed the wolf tighter to her. "My Jakey!" she giggled as Jake continued to bounce._

_Jake's eyes flicked to Edward at his next statement. "Named after the most important man in your life, huh Ness?"_

_I shot Jacob a look and I heard Edward's growl beside me. "No, silly, it's named after you," Renesmee giggled._

_Edward smirked back at him. "That's because daddy's your number one man, right love?"_

_Renesmee grinned and nodded at him._

I scolded both of them after the incident. Renesmee's affection was hardly a competition.

"Momma, the timer dinged," Renesmee mumbled, sleepily.

I smiled and pulled out the cookie sheet that held the bacon from the oven. She grinned at it. Renesmee's appetite was a lot like Charlie's. Meat, meat and more meat. I spread the pieces out over the plates, giving Renesmee and Rosalie a few extra pieces of it. I set the plates on the table and then walked to the stairs.

"You have two seconds to get down here and stop arguing before I throw out your food," I called.

I heard a louder grumble then the pounding of feet as they made their way to the kitchen. "Bella, why couldn't you have invited Alice over instead?" Charlie griped.

"Rose wasn't invited…" I whispered to him.

He chuckled. Rosalie looked at us suspiciously. "What are you two talking about? Care to share with the rest of the familia?" she asked through a full mouth of eggs.

I smiled at her. "Nothing Rosie."

"Yeah, yeah." She said as she turned back to her plate.

"So, Bella, what's on your agenda today?" Charlie asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I think I'm going to call a doctor and get an appointment, then maybe take Renesmee down to see Jake and Billy in La Push for a while. Do you wanna come with?"

He nodded. His attention turned back to the paper in his hand.

"Charbear?" Rose smiled.

He warily lifted his head to meet her gaze. "What?" he muttered.

She pouted. "I thought we had plans today. Are you going to ditch me, Charlie boo?"

He turned crimson and cleared his throat uncomfortably. Renesmee frowned. "Aunt Rosie stop being mean to Grandpa."

Rose smiled sweetly at her. "I'd never be mean to Grandpa Charlie."

Renesmee slowly relaxed. I loved how protective she was of her family. "Momma, when are we going to see Jake?" she asked. The smile on her face almost made me forget all drama.

"This afternoon," I promised.

She nodded happily and continued to eat her breakfast.

"Well, I hate to leave this love fest, but I have to get to work," Rose said, standing up. She gave me a hug, kissed Renesmee's forehead and gave Charlie a peck on the lips then winked as she walked out.

"Thank God," Charlie mumbled.

I laughed. "She only does it because you react so badly."

He scratched his neck. "She makes me uncomfortable. She fits well with the McCarty boy. What's his name? Emerson?"

"Emmett," I answered.

"How did you meet them again?" he asked.

I felt my smile falter. "Emmett is Edward's best friend," I whispered.

He cleared his throat again. "Yeah, that's right. Well, they are an intimidating couple together, that's uh, what I meant."

"Yeah, they are," I sighed.

We ate in an awkward silence. Renesmee was unaware of it. She hummed as she finished her meal. "Thank you momma," she smiled.

I nodded at her. "Go get ready, angel," I told her.

She grinned and gracefully skipped up the stairs. "Sorry 'bout earlier, Bells."

I shook my head and put a small smile on my face. "S'okay dad. I'm fine."

I rose from my seat and put my barely eaten eggs in the sink with Rose's dishes and Renesmee's. "Bella, you don't have to hide what you are feeling from me. I mean, I know I'm not that good with, uh, the emotional stuff and I'm not the first person you want to talk about this with but uh, I'm here if you want to talk. I love ya kid. I just want you to be happy," he mumbled, uneasily.

I smiled and blushed. "That means a lot dad. Thank you. I love you, too."

He cleared his throat again and scratched the back of his neck. "Well, I'll leave you to make your call and we'll head over to Billy's. I know Jake misses you. You don't see the kid as much as you should, Bells. You just take some more time to go visit him," Charlie said.

I knew he was right. Jake had been my best friend since I had moved to Forks during my junior year of high school. He knew everything about me. He made it impossible to hide anything from him. Jake was could be the most annoying person I'd ever met in my life but he could also be the sweetest. He was always there for me when times got rough like my fights with Edward or when I crashed his motorcycle and had to get stitches. He was wild and tamed, it just depended on which side of him he should you.

*

I didn't know how to make the call. I hadn't done it before. I was too overwhelmed at the thought that I could possibly be pregnant. Edward had made all the arrangements and the appointments. He'd done most of the shopping and he'd held my hair when I had morning sickness. He was the perfect companion for the uncomfortable nine months that in turn gave us the greatest give imaginable.

I stared at the phone in hand. I had two options.

Option one: call Carlisle and see if he could recommend a doctor and see if he could set me up an appointment.

Result: feel guilty for practically backstabbing Edward and starting the pregnancy preparations behind his back.

Option two: call Edward and reason with him. Ask him nicely to call and schedule for me.

Result: feel insecure about having to ask for help and probably go back to him right away.

I nodded and decided to go with the newest option. Option three.

Call myself and stumble awkwardly through setting everything up. I could let Edward know everything later. I would make sure he knew about the appointment… somehow.

_What a wimp_, my mind rumbled.

_So what_, another part sided.

I ignored them both and dialed the number of Forks Community Hospital, asked for the OB-GYN clinic and set up the first appointment of my pregnancy for the end of the week.

I could help the unease that spread through my skin like a wildfire. The only thing I could think about was how I felt like I was betraying Edward but I quickly pushed that away and got up to dress for the day. Today would be a new day, a better day.

_I hoped._

**AN:**

Fictions I'm Reading:

My Brother's Best Friend by** jennlynnfs**

Controlled Burn by **staceygirl aka jackbauer**

These both are really good. I usually only read "M" fanficions but **stacygirl**'s is a "T." She is one of the few "T" authors I love.

Sorry this update was late. The next one shouldn't be… unless this god-fucking-awful snow storm starts up again. We have two feet of snow and six feet long icicles! This is why I hate living in the MidWest.


End file.
